Thursday, March 01, 2012
DOG NAMED BLUE
http://dognamedblue-amd.blogspot.com/ has written Big Hallucination
"When I was a child, '79 '80 '81, it was safer to wander the streets of a suburb of Bolton than it was to be at home.
I would hide out anywhere that was dry out of the rain and snow - old buildings powerunits half built houses - because I feared that he would kill me if I was at home.
There were no friends to hide out with until it was time to go home ... leaving it until the last seconds to run inside & upstairs to bed.
I'd spent the last four years praying to god fanatically but had given up believing in a god that would let this happen to me.
I ran away to kill myself at sixteen but I made my grandmother cry.
I'd never seen her cry and felt so ashamed that I had done so.
Instead I hid in her airing cupboard for six months only coming out at night when it was safe."
And, one of my turns...
"When your husband used to be beating me to death, he used to say things to me.
"He told me how none of my family cared about me.
"How they wouldn’t help me...
"This woman who gave birth to me agreed with everything her husband was doing to me
supporting him in everything.
"It was all I've ever known for all my life.
"How could I have known what he was doing to you too?...
"From the age of 9 I believed he was going to murder me...
"You then abandoned me and made me homeless...
"I had to break in to the shed in the graveyard to have somewhere dry to sleep.
"I never saw you for 4 years I never saw my sister for 6 years..."